How to respond to an apology when youre still hurt reddit

There’s a huge difference between saying:

“I am sorry I hurt you”

“I am sorry you feel hurt”

On the first statement, you acknowledge what you did. You take ownership and responsibility.

In the second statement, you have recused yourself as the cause of the pain. You are almost mocking the person.

It seems like mostly you'd say "it's ok" or "it's fine" but it's really not fine, because that sounds like it doesn't matter if it happens again. Just saying "ok" seems blunt, saying "don't let it happen again" seems aggressive...

My specific instance is that I lent some items to a (new) friend and when I asked them to be returned because I needed them on Sunday, she didn't return them, then she apologized and intends to return them today.

When someone is brave enough to admit their mistakes and apologize to me, I often don't know how to respond other than saying "It's okay", even when what they may have done in reality isn't okay. When I think of other responses I often think of "I accept your apology" and to me, that sounds so formal and unforgiving. How do you guys respond?

I've never really known how to accept an apology except by saying "It's okay." A lot of apologies made to and from me were for minor issues that in the end were "okay". Recently, issues have come up where in the end, it wasn't okay. How do I accept an apology without making it seem like we buried the hatchet?

I always feel obligated to say, "No problem." or "It's cool." so I don't seem petty. But what should I say if I don't forgive the person?

When you get into a fight w your s/o (guy I’m talking to) and they apologize, how do you respond if you’re still upset? Like “it’s okay” isn’t a good response bc maybe what they did isn’t okay….in this instance it’s through text so how can i respond to acknowledge the apology but also not be like “no it’s fine walk all over me” but also not beat a dead horse or seem crazy? Ya know? 😂

What do you do when you’re still upset after your partner apologized? from AskWomen

LPT: Don't let people totally off the hook when they apologize for doing something wrong by telling them "it's okay", when it's not. Instead you can acknowledge the mess-up and still be gracious by saying "I appreciate that", "That's all I wanted to hear" or even just "Thank you". from LifeProTips

I don't mean like the polite thing where you just say "it's okay". I mean like what do you say when you're hurting but it's not the kind of upset where you're angry