How to stop comparing yourself to celebrities

Even though most of us try not to, we’re all guilty of comparing ourselves to others. We can make comparisons like, “I wish I dressed like so-and-so,” or, “I wish I were as rich as them.”

This is often unconscious, but it’s important to try to train ourselves to stop. While it may motivate us to better ourselves, constantly comparing ourselves to others can lead to negative thoughts.

Why do I compare myself to others?

Human beings are social creatures, and comparison is common throughout our entire history.

Social media platforms like Twitter, Instagram, and Facebook bombard us with posts about what we lack. These apps are comparison traps that encourage us to question aspects of our own lives.

It’s easy to forget that social media is a highlight reel of other people’s lives. We see their best moments, but don’t usually witness their struggles.

We often compare our lesser qualities with a person's best qualities, skewing our judgment.

How does comparison affect my life?

Too much comparison leads to unhappiness and low self-esteem. We become frustrated with ourselves for "not being good enough," or angry with others.

Some real-life examples of comparisons are:

You see another woman walk down the street and think, “I wish I were as pretty as her."
You see a celebrity posting on Instagram about their workout and tell yourself, “If only my body looked like his."
A coworker is giving a presentation, and you can’t help saying, “She’s a way better public speaker than I am."

Feelings of jealousy, frustration, and hopelessness emerge if comparisons continue. If left unaddressed, chronic anxiety and depression can stem from such behavior.

To avoid comparisons, people may look for others’ faults to make themselves feel better. This is just as unhealthy as tearing yourself apart for what you don’t have or don’t look like.

I want to stop comparing myself to others: what do I do?

To halt the comparison habit, focus on bettering yourself and boosting your confidence. Try to train your mind to step away from unfavorable comparisons. Seek instead to embrace kindness and a positive attitude. It's hard work, but it pays off.

Here are some things you can do to take the initiative to stop comparing yourself to others.

1. Be aware of your triggers and avoid them

To improve your mental health and emotional well-being, list out the situations and circumstances that make you sad or cynical. Social media isn’t the only thing harming our self-esteem.

Is there someone in your life who often puts you down? Or maybe you feel inadequate when a colleague brags. Perhaps there’s a specific place that makes you feel bad, like wandering through an expensive store at the mall.

Once you are aware of situations that make you likely to engage in comparisons, you can take action to avoid them.

Social media keeps us up to date on our family and friends, current events, and raises awareness. But like most things, it’s best in moderation. Over scrolling on social media, especially when consuming lifestyle and beauty content, can have negative effects on our self-worth.

Unfollow accounts that cause you to compare yourself to others. Turn off your phone after a certain time of day and don’t respond to every message or comment you receive.

Ask yourself if you could spend your time on social media more constructively instead. Could you read a book? Go for a walk? Call a friend?

3. Avoid comparing other peoples' "outsides" to your own "insides"

No one truly knows what’s happening behind the scenes in someone else’s life. Everyone is facing their own struggles.

4. Remind yourself that "money doesn't buy happiness"

There is a relationship between mental health and money. But one thing is true: money doesn't buy happiness. Despite being bombarded with ads that say otherwise, money doesn’t guarantee permanent happiness. Watching celebrities live luxurious lifestyles can lead us to believe that money will solve our problems, but it rarely does. Instead, it only buys temporary joy.

5. Count your blessings

Be grateful for what you have. Someone’s life may seem better, but there might be another person out there wishing they had what you had. There’s always something, even just one thing, for which you can be thankful. Implement these strategies to fine-tune your gratitude practice.

6. Use comparison as motivation

Comparisons can be a great catalyst for change, so long as it’s healthy. Instead of feeling envious of other people’s accomplishments, think about how they were able to achieve them. Then, see how you can replicate them.

Being inspired by someone you know to be kinder or more open-minded can lead you to be a better person.

7. Focus on your strengths

It’s okay to be humble, but you should also be proud of what you’ve accomplished. Too much humility is just as harmful as too much self-confidence.

Make a list of what you like about yourself. Writing things down can help us recognize and accept the truth instead of speaking it aloud. You can be as general or as specific as you like, and let this list serve as a reminder of your strengths.

8. Celebrate other people too

We must be our biggest supporters, but self-advocacy can coexist with supporting others. Spread positivity by cheering on your friends and coworkers for their milestones.

9. Remember that insecurities are universal

It’s normal for you to compare yourself to others. We all experience self-doubts and fears that get the best of us now and then. Even the most confident people feel insecure sometimes.

10. Use your past self as a benchmark of comparison

The only real competition you have is who you were yesterday, who you were last month, or who you were a year ago. You’ll be able to see real growth through retrospection and be proud of your growth.

Inspiring quotations to defeat comparisons

Here are some wise words from others that are sure to help spark that urge to stop comparing your life to others and appreciate your amazing self just a little bit more.

"No one can make you feel inferior without your consent." - Eleanor Rosevelt.

"Stop comparing yourself to other people: you are an original. We are all different and it's okay." - Joyce Meyer.

"I don't want other people to decide what I am. I want to decide that for myself." - Emma Waston.

"Today you are you, that is truer than true. There is no one alive who is you-er than you." - Dr. Seuss.

The bottom line

The only person you should be comparing yourself to is yourself. Your efforts should focus on growing from within, being kinder, more resilient, working hard, and being more open instead of whether or not your hair is long enough or you’re as strong as someone else.

BetterUp was created to help us understand ourselves and take charge of our own lives. Clarity, purpose, and passion, and the tools to go after what matters to you.

BetterUp focuses on human transformation, championing personal growth, social connections, and mental fitness, all in the name of internalizing healthy self-care practices. If you’re willing to put in the work, we’re here to guide you through this crazy journey called life.

Comparing yourself to others only causes stress and damages your self-esteem.

Most often it moves you away from who you really are.

The unique and beautiful person that you are.

No one wins at the comparison game. You look at other people’s clothes, car, house, job, money, or even small things like their hairstyle. And then you feel bad about yourself.

Why would you do that?

Seriously. Why?

Where do you fit in?

Some people compare themselves to movie stars or famous singers and have an unhealthy mix of admiration and jealousy.

I wish I was like that. Why can’t I have all those things?

Of course, you forget that those celebrities are putting on a show. It’s not real life. Yet, your feelings of inadequacy are real. And your self-esteem just plummets.

The opposite also happens. When you compare yourself to others that have less than you.

Do you secretly feel good that you’re above them? Are you relieved that you’re not in the same place they are?

When you stop comparing you feel empathy for those with less and healthy admiration for the celebrities.

If that’s not the case then you haven’t figured out that it’s impossible to compare your insides to someone else’s outsides.

Everyday People.

Comparing yourself to others, especially those in your everyday life always evokes some type of reaction or feeling.

It can happen at home, at work, with friends, or in any other situation that requires your attention.

You may say to yourself: Why don’t I have what they have? What’s wrong with me that I’m not able to achieve the same thing? How lucky they are or I’m nothing compared to them. And on and on…

It ranges from things that have little importance like material things to the person’s intangible aspects, like their personality or way of being.

It doesn’t matter who or how old you are – when you compare yourself to others using those types of questions, it naturally fuels your low self-esteem at any age.

And we already know that’s no good, right?

So if you are constantly comparing yourself to others, start learning to decipher those triggers.

Scrolling is at its peak, and these days we’re relying way too much on social media for connections. It’s not only true for teenagers as some may think – it’s true for the majority.

Social media amplifies the comparison game and most of us don’t even realize that we’re trapped inside. How do you feel when you go through your feed?

Do you feel happy? Does it bring you a positive feeling? Are you smiling?

Probably not. And yet you spend hours scrolling. Yes, hours. Be honest.

You know that most social media isn’t real. It’s just a show. But you compare anyway. Why?

Do you wish to be like them? To be a celebrity with a worldwide nickname? To be beautiful even if it means a series of plastic surgery? To be rich and earn 6 figures in 30 days? To have their talent from birth? To wear that beautiful dress in the middle of a lavender field?

Whatever your answer is, you’re buying into the fake show and the elaborate marketing strategies that make you feel less than when you compare yourself to others.

It makes you feel you should strive to be someone other than yourself.

How far from the truth can you go until you fall off the edge?

“Comparison paralyzes progress, both of the mind and the society.”― Abhijit Naskar

If you’re not ready to stop comparing yourself to others, and you’re going to scroll anyway, then at least stop a few minutes and analyze the image that triggers your negative thoughts.

Only then can you inject a good dose of reality into what you see.

People in your feed spend a lot of time setting up perfect images for a reason. So please, remember to use social media for entertainment and not to measure your life’s purpose.

Compare and learn.

Sometimes, comparing yourself to others can have a positive effect.

I have a friend who holds onto clutter for all the wrong reasons. And she’s in total admiration of her coworker W., the most organized person on the planet.

Each time they see each other, she tries to learn a small thing that will help her become an organized diva. My friend knows she won’t ever master this like a pro, but it doesn’t matter.

She just wants to learn to be more organized and uses W. as a model.

When you compare yourself to others in order to gain new skills and move forward, it’s a positive thing.

Your goal has to be something achievable and attainable, like in the case above: learning to get organized. But if you’re comparing yourself to others and striving for something impossible – like being a movie star although you’ve never taken an acting class, well, you know how that ends…

The goal is to stop comparing without action. If you admire something positive in someone, try to learn it for yourself.

But if you’re comparing yourself to others mindlessly and without action, then your destructive feelings of self-pity just rise back up to the top.

Who you are matters

The only person you should ever compare yourself to is yourself.

I never really understood this until much, much later. But it makes a lot of sense. When you track your progress, you can compare how far you’ve come.

We know that comparing yourself to others can be harmful.

But it can also be harmful to compare yourself to yourself if you’re not doing it in a positive way.

Failures and mistakes are a part of life and it’s essential to acknowledge them. We all have our own list, but we learn and make progress – and change for the better.

That’s what comparing yourself to yourself means: Tracking your progress and evolution.

Stop comparing yourself to others and be your friend

There’s no doubt that the person we should depend on and trust the most is ourselves.

With strong self-esteem and clear ideas, being your own best friend becomes a wonderful possibility and you naturally stop comparing yourself to others.

Related Reading: Be your own best friend

Go off to battle

When you’re stuck in the comparison game, you sometimes have to fight your way out. Be aware of your triggers and consciously push away the urge to compare with force.

Here are a few tools to help you stop comparing yourself to others.

Journal:

Do you journal? If not, this is an excellent option to sort out your feelings and start giving yourself the credit you deserve.

Who are you?

Could you write it down? Your wants, needs, dreams, achievements, failures, pains, gains, likes and dislikes, and all other details that describe you accurately.

You are unique, remember?

If you need some questions to get you started on how you feel – get a free download here.

Be aware:

Pinpoint exactly when you compare and with whom. It’s a good start.

Who is that one person that every time you see them, triggers your need for comparison?

What’s the situation? Explain the details to yourself and what happens in your mind. By doing this, you take back control vs letting your feelings of inadequacy take over.

Once you raise your awareness, you can start to do something about it.

Gratitude:

Of course, this is the best medicine for so many human ailments. Get in the habit of writing down that which makes you happy, or proud, or smile.

Choose 3 things daily that you’re grateful for. It’s not easy at first, but practice, and over time, you’ll get pulled back into something positive.

All HUMAN

When you stop comparing yourself to others, your thoughts shift and you allow yourself to take responsibility and face life’s challenges. We all have what it takes within us.

However, when we continue comparing ourselves to others, our abilities weaken. They get diluted in negative thinking until we no longer own our uniqueness.

It’s so easy to get into a negative cycle of comparison because there will always, always, always be someone to compare yourself to.

Always.

People have different abilities, different talents, and different personalities.

That’s what humans are about!

Work hard not to get sucked into the comparison warp. Do what you have to and stay close to yourself.

Although you may not believe it just yet, You are unique.

When we work on ourselves, we can better understand how we are all different.

And that’s the beauty of it.

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