Which of the following is the type of listening in which the listener repeats what the speaker says to make sure the content of the message is clearly understood?

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Lending a sympathetic ear to your people can earn you trust and loyalty.

Empathic listening is a structured listening and questioning technique that allows you to develop and enhance relationships with a stronger understanding of what is being conveyed, both intellectually and emotionally. As such, it takes active listening techniques to a new level.

In this article, we'll explore how honest and effective use of empathic listening can help you to win the trust of team members, and address the root cause of workplace problems.

(You can check your understanding of empathy more broadly in our article, Empathy at Work.)

Empathic Listening Skills

To use empathic listening, listen patiently to what the other person has to say, even if you do not agree with it. It is important to show acceptance, though not necessarily agreement, by simply nodding or injecting phrases such as "I understand" or "I see."

Try to get a sense of the feelings that the speaker is expressing, and stay mindful of the emotional content being delivered as well as the literal meaning of the words.

Think of yourself as a mirror. Repeat the speaker's thoughts and feelings back to them.

Encourage the speaker to continue with their message by interjecting summary responses. For example, "So you do not feel as though you play a strong enough role on the team." Or, "You feel your talents and experiences would be better utilized in another position." Or, you could say, "You feel as though you are undervalued on this project." This should be done in a neutral way, so as not to "lead" the speaker to your way of thinking.

An empathic listener works to keep the speaker from feeling or becoming defensive. To do this, avoid asking direct questions, arguing with what is being said, or disputing facts. The evidence can be considered later. For now, concentrate fully on what is being said and how the speaker feels.

When the speaker says something that requires additional input, simply repeat the statement as a question. For instance, if the speaker says, "I am not happy in my current position," you can probe further by replying, "You say you are not happy in your current position?" This small amount of encouragement may be all that it takes to prompt the speaker to elaborate further.

Be mindful of what is not being said, too. Often, what the speaker holds back is as important as what they are saying. Pay attention to their body language. Nonverbal signs like keeping the head down, shifting away from you or covering the mouth could signal that they're holding something back, or that they feel uncomfortable.

If the speaker asks for your input, be honest. But, try to refrain from providing input that may influence their thoughts or inhibit further communication.

When you're listening empathically, keep your own emotions in check and do not allow yourself to become emotionally involved. Remember: understand first, evaluate later.

Finally, keep in mind that by earning the speaker's confidence, you are allowing them to communicate more freely. In doing this, you create better outcomes for the speaker, for yourself, for your team, and for the company as a whole.

Where you've earned this trust, make sure you don't betray it.

Empathic Listening Example

As a manager, John prides himself on being there for his team members, and he maintains an open-door policy. He feels that he knows each team member quite well and regularly engages in "personal" conversations with them, staying up to date with the events in their lives, both at work and outside of work.

Recently, he noticed Natalie pulling away from the team. During meetings, she seems distracted and no longer provides the high level of input that the team has come to expect from her.

Other team members have also noticed that she's not looking too well. She was late for her meetings yesterday, which was unlike her, and she seems less interested in work more generally, too.

John approaches Natalie to ask if something is wrong. But she becomes defensive and says, "Why do you ask?" and, "I'm fine."

A few more weeks go by and, still not satisfied with her performance, John continues to become more concerned for Natalie. Previously, she'd been the backbone of a thriving team.

To get to root of the issue, John uses empathic listening techniques to discover the source of Natalie's uncharacteristically poor work performance.

Empathic Listening Techniques

John calls Natalie into his office and simply asks her how he can help. This lowers her defenses and shows that he's willing to support her. Then, he listens to what Natalie says (as well as what she doesn't say), and takes care to avoid interrupting. It's not long before he uncovers the problem: Natalie has been going through a divorce and taking care of an ill parent at the same time.

During their conversation, John acts as a mirror to Natalie. He repeats the points that she's made, so she knows that he understands. He rephrases her comments into questions during pauses in the conversation and asks for further input from her.

John pays attention to Natalie's body language, too. Interestingly, throughout the conversation, this usually confident person kept her head and eyes down. Overall, she seemed defeated.

Counseling and Support

After allowing Natalie to finish, John provides support without judgment. He offers to temporarily lighten Natalie's workload, and reassures her that her responsibilities will be waiting for her when she's ready to return to normal. John also makes Natalie aware of the support and resources that are available to her through the company's HR department, such as counseling and financial planning.

Crucially, John keeps the conversation to himself. He lets Natalie know that what she has said will stay between them. He encourages Natalie to keep him updated on the situation and allows her time to go to the counseling sessions that she plans through the company's HR department.

John took note of Natalie's obvious pain and listened empathically. The result: Natalie took just over a month to get better and when she returned at full speed, her work was better than ever – as was her focus, and her loyalty to John, to the team, and to the company.

The role of an empathic listener is to be supportive, kind and caring.

Listen carefully and without judgment. Interject occasionally to show that you've understood what's being said. Where appropriate, repeat key phrases to encourage the speaker to open up.

Pay attention to what's not being said, too. Take note of the speaker's emotional state, their tone of voice, and their body language.

And, when you successfully win their trust and confidence, make sure that you respect it.

Listening is one of the most important skills you can have. How well you listen has a major impact on your job effectiveness and on the quality of your relationships with others.

For instance:

• We listen to obtain information.
• We listen to understand.
• We listen for enjoyment.
• We listen to learn.

Given all the listening that we do, you would think we'd be good at it! In fact, most of us are not, and research suggests that we only remember between 25 percent and 50 percent of what we hear, as described by Edgar Dale's Cone of Experience. That means that when you talk to your boss, colleagues, customers, or spouse for 10 minutes, they pay attention to less than half of the conversation.

Turn it around and it reveals that when you are receiving directions or being presented with information, you aren't hearing the whole message either. You hope the important parts are captured in your 25-50 percent, but what if they're not?

Clearly, listening is a skill that we can all benefit from improving. By becoming a better listener, you can improve your productivity, as well as your ability to influence, persuade and negotiate. What's more, you'll avoid conflict and misunderstandings. All of these are necessary for workplace success!

Click here to view a transcript of this video.

Good communication skills require a high level of self-awareness. Understanding your own personal style of communicating will go a long way toward helping you to create good and lasting impressions with others.

About Active Listening

The way to improve your listening skills is to practice "active listening." This is where you make a conscious effort to hear not only the words that another person is saying but, more importantly, the complete message being communicated.

In order to do this, you must pay attention to the other person very carefully.

You cannot allow yourself to become distracted by whatever else may be going on around you, or by forming counterarguments while the other person is still speaking. Nor can you allow yourself to get bored, and lose focus on what the other person is saying.

If you're finding it particularly difficult to concentrate on what someone is saying, try repeating their words mentally as they say them. This will reinforce their message and help you to stay focused.

To enhance your listening skills, you need to let the other person know that you are listening to what they're saying.

To understand the importance of this, ask yourself if you've ever been engaged in a conversation when you wondered if the other person was listening to what you were saying. You wonder if your message is getting across, or if it's even worthwhile continuing to speak. It feels like talking to a brick wall and it's something you want to avoid.

Acknowledgment can be something as simple as a nod of the head or a simple "uh huh." You aren't necessarily agreeing with the person, you are simply indicating that you are listening. Using body language and other signs to acknowledge you are listening can also help you to pay attention.

Try to respond to the speaker in a way that will encourage them to continue speaking, so that you can get the information that you need. While nodding and "uh huhing" says you're interested, an occasional question or comment to recap what has been said also communicates that you are listening and understanding his message.

Be aware that active listening can give others the impression that you agree with them even if you don't. It’s also important to avoid using active listening as a checklist of actions to follow, rather than really listening. It may help to practice Mindful Listening if you find that you lose focus regularly.

Becoming an Active Listener

There are five key active listening techniques you can use to help you become a more effective listener:

1. Pay Attention

Give the speaker your undivided attention, and acknowledge the message. Recognize that non-verbal communication also "speaks" loudly.

• Look at the speaker directly.
• Put aside distracting thoughts.
• Don't mentally prepare a rebuttal!
• Avoid being distracted by environmental factors. For example, side conversations.
• "Listen" to the speaker's body language.

2. Show That You're Listening

Use your own body language and gestures to show that you are engaged.

• Nod occasionally.
• Smile and use other facial expressions.
• Make sure that your posture is open and interested.
• Encourage the speaker to continue with small verbal comments like yes, and "uh huh."

3. Provide Feedback

Our personal filters, assumptions, judgments, and beliefs can distort what we hear. As a listener, your role is to understand what is being said. This may require you to reflect on what is being said and to ask questions.

• Reflect on what has been said by paraphrasing. "What I'm hearing is... ," and "Sounds like you are saying... ," are great ways to reflect back.
• Ask questions to clarify certain points. "What do you mean when you say... ." "Is this what you mean?"
• Summarize the speaker's comments periodically.

If you find yourself responding emotionally to what someone said, say so. And ask for more information: "I may not be understanding you correctly, and I find myself taking what you said personally. What I thought you just said is XXX. Is that what you meant?"

4. Defer Judgment

Interrupting is a waste of time. It frustrates the speaker and limits full understanding of the message.

• Allow the speaker to finish each point before asking questions.
• Don't interrupt with counterarguments.

5. Respond Appropriately

Active listening is designed to encourage respect and understanding. You are gaining information and perspective. You add nothing by attacking the speaker or otherwise putting her down.

• Be candid, open, and honest in your response.
• Assert your opinions respectfully.
• Treat the other person in a way that you think they would want to be treated.

Infographic

Click on the thumbnail image below to see Active Listening represented in an infographic:

Key Points

It takes a lot of concentration and determination to be an active listener. Old habits are hard to break, and if your listening skills are as bad as many people's are, then you'll need to do a lot of work to break these bad habits.

There are five key techniques you can use to develop your active listening skills:

1. Pay attention.
2. Show that you're listening.
3. Provide feedback.
4. Defer judgment.
5. Respond appropriately.

Start using active listening techniques today to become a better communicator, improve your workplace productivity, and develop better relationships.