I left for college and she wanted a long distance relationship so I was like yes, that would be perfect because I loved her, but 2 months in, I found she was talking with a kid she told me was just a friend behind my back. I trusted her and let it go. But then things got bad. she would get mad at me when I only called her for 30 minutes and not for hours like we used to, because I had work and school 24 /7. I tried so hard to keep the relationship because I loved her but she was so selfish. It seems like she just wanted someone close. I saw my relationship slowly fall apart and because of my obligations, I couldn't do anything about it. I just had to trust her. Don't get me wrong, I had days I planned out to see her and spend time with her, but I'm in a 21 month program at college and get NO time off. So the days were a little far out. So one day she just blocked me from her phone and I tried to talk to her about it, to try to get some answers. Well, I sent a letter to her telling I just wanted to talk and she sent me a 5 sentence letter, telling me to just give up on her and that this was the last thing she was going to say to me. It made no sense. So I let her go for a couple of months and said nothing, thinking i would give her time to think and maybe be alittle more mature about this. So i texted her "hey its so-and-so, i know you probably dont wabt to talk to me, but i think we just need to clear up things. I promise im not trying to get you back or argue. I just want to know what happened because I'm in the dark." She ignored me. So i said "please dont pretend i dont exist, lets just be mature about this. Then out of no where, she threated me that she would press charges. I was so taken back, i dropped my phone. It made no sense! 2 yrs.together and she was my heart, and vice versa. I just wanted closure, thats it, and look what I get. i wasn't stalking her. So, Its been 8 months now and they are still together and now he is at college. But she's waiting for him. The guy is so similar to me too. Its weird. I had to find out that she was lying after the fact and do my own detective work, per say. Its so crazy to because she was so persistent on us being together, and so was I. She cut me out of her life 8 months ago, yet on Twitter now, she still says "if I have one more dream about my ex, I might have to shoot myself" and "it's the best when they break your heart, you get back together, and out of nowhere you crush them like a bug HAHA." Who says that? Then, she'll go back to saying how in love she is with her bf, its driving me crazy I'm still so attracted to her. I know she's horrible for what she did but I have no clue why I still love her and want her. Its been so long and I can't even move on. Its hurts to see she is putting more effort into him than she did for me, and he is closer. She forgets all that I did. I think what bugs me the most is that its like she did this horrible thing but got the better end of the deal. I've been trying to think that if we are meant to be, we will even with all the **** that has happened, but if we are not, I will find better. But its so hard because of my feelings towards her. I don't know if her talking about me is her projecting or if she may still have feelings toward me. I don't why she's talking about me and what she gets out of it. Plus, she should be done with me! The opposite of love is not hate, its indifference. She shouldn't be thinking about me so often, let alone talk about it. I just wonder why she is so happy now? Like don't you miss me at all, like I miss you. You have the nerve to talk about me, why not just talk TO ME. Trust me when I say, I was not at all a bad boyfriend. She thought I was funny, handsome, and that I treated her right, all things she's told me. So I wonder...why did she leave than, you know? And why do I miss her so much. She looks like she got the better end of the deal. Was I that easy to throw away?
colleges friends kids long-distance schools  #2 7 years ago
i can fully understand your pain my friend because i'm going through the same. So what is your current position? Have u not spoken to her for 8 months? are u applying the No Contact Rule? #3 7 years ago
I think u r right. she wanted someone closer. long distance relationship can put a strain on relationship but she was the one that wanted to continue. I don't know how in 2 months things quickly change. was this guy there b4 u left for college? #4 7 years ago
I haven't spoken to her in the eight months. Im too afraid to. I haven't said a word since she threatened me with that charging thing. #5 7 years ago
She told me he was just a friend and no, he wasn't there prior. I blindly trusted her. She wanted the LDR, so yeah, its confusing. People say that she wears the pants in their relationship anyways and he does everything she says. I don't know if that helps but....I don't get how you can just move on so quickly and than talk about me behind my back. #6 7 years ago
a similar thing happen to a friend of mine. she ask for space and he found out that she was involve with someone else. they were engaged. she had threaten to call police when he confronted her about the other guy. he just wanted to know what was going on. how she could easily dismiss what they had. he saw how things were going so well for her while he was home miserable. I think u just have to view it as she change her mind about wanting to be with u after u left. she should have been more understanding about how things were not going to be the same while u were away for school. she was only thinking about her needs. u were more invested in the relationship than she was. that's y she was easily able to date another the next day. the right woman will come along. focus on doing well in school. don't let what happen effect u. it may not be now, but she will contact u again. that's what happen with my friend. after a year she called him. the guy she dump him for is now married to someone else. my friend is happy with someone new and she is still single. so my friend has the last laugh now. u will too. #7 7 years ago
Oh, that was really good advice😊 thank you. As weird as it may sound, its nice to know I'm not the only one who has gone through this situation. Its a horrible situation. I just sometimes cant imagine that she did that to me. You always think that you make some impact on them. We talked about everything and have been through everything together, we were very close. But it would be nice to get some justice for my heart. Thank you again #8 7 years ago
Hudson wrote: I haven't spoken to her in the eight months. Im too afraid to. I haven't said a word since she threatened me with that charging thing. 8 months is a long time and i fully understand your plight as i am going through the same myself. my gf broke up with me 2 months ago without giving me a closure. we havent spoken ever since. she was of the abusive kinds whenever she would get mad at me. i took her **** for a long time and was ready to deal with her coz i loved her but this time i applied the no contact rule coz i dint wanna sound needy and hapless. i dont think she will ever contact me now and i miss her but i really cant do anything. same is the case with u my friend. i dont see her making a coming back after such a long time. btw has she never contacted u in these 8 months? #9 7 years ago
my friend never did talk to her again after what she did. when she tried to contact him, he ignored her calls. she even admitted to him that she knew that he treated her well. her contacting him just confirm that she mess up big time. he could have been her husband and she threw the relationship away. it's not easy to find good man who r willing to give u his all to u. he hates her for what she did and I told him the best revenge is to have a good life. it's happening. he will never forget what she did but at least he has the satisfaction of knowing that she will never have him. u will get there when u meet someone new. when u at least expect it, ur ex will try to be friendly with u to get u back. I hope u don't. ur almost done with school and will go back home and have a good job. lets see how fast she come running back to u then. #10 7 years ago
No she hasn't but she's talked about me enough. I really wish she missed me. #11 7 years ago
I regret now trying to get her back, but it was only because I had no clue what was going on. I hope one day she realizes what she did. I think in a sick way, she wants to pretend she is the victim, that I was awful to her. #12 7 years ago
exactly what my friend felt. he tried to get her back to. I told him she isn't worth it and she isn't. see what ur ex did as a blessing in disguise. she couldn't even stand by u while u were going to school. she quickly drop u after 2 months in. this isn't the type of woman u want by ur side. feel sorry for the other guy. u said she wears the pants in the relationship. good luck to him. #13 7 years ago
I think the worse part is she will always hate me and I don't know why. And if she hates me, why are you dreaming about me? For me she was my first love and I didn't want it to end. Its so hard to see her with this guy, and to see she has no remorse. She has probably never really looked back at her actions. #14 7 years ago
You are right, I don't want a girl like her. I wish my heart could stop these feelings. Why could she be mature? She will always just run away. She ran away from me and she threatened me because she was a coward and couldn't be honestly. Its horrible to know one lie can make you question all the things that person has said. #15 7 years ago
Hudson wrote: You are right, I don't want a girl like her. I wish my heart could stop these feelings. Why could she be mature? She will always just run away. She ran away from me and she threatened me because she was a coward and couldn't be honestly. Its horrible to know one lie can make you question all the things that person has said. your case is exactly like mine hudson except for the fact that my gf was married and not even seeking a divorce. i got caught up in her web. she never loved me although initially it was she who confessed her feelings to me and promised that she would get a divorce from her husband because her marriage wasnt working much before i came into her life.but later she just backtracked. started getting abusive and would get mad at me over almost everything. i tried my best to hold on to the relationship although she refused to technically commit to me. she would blame me for each and everything. portray herself as the victim. i took such good care of her. i loved her with all my heart and soul but she just didnt care and abandoned me as if i never existed. its been two months now. i dont think she will ever come back though. yes i am heartbroken because i never felt so strongly for anyone but she just ended things with me even without giving a closure. #16 7 years ago
she doesn't hate u. she was only bother by the fact that u were looking for answers and u didn't accept the one she gave. u were with her over a year plus she was ur first love so it will take that same amount of time or even more to get over her and u will. she was a coward. she just should have been straight up with u. she is the one that lost out on a good thing. not u. #17 7 years ago
I'm really happy that I put my story up here. All of the advice and stories have helped. I now know I'm not the only one who has gone through this event. I take all of this to heart and I hope it will help me move forward. I know I don't have much to stand by after what she did but I do know I was a good boyfriend, would have done anything for her, it was a bad circumstance of distance that drove her away, and I know that I have no clue what the future can hold. #18 7 years ago
i'm glad u thinking positively. u did nothing wrong to make her hate u. u were a good boyfriend. it was only distance that had to do with school that drove her away. I think that was really selfish on her part for not supporting u in it and to ask u give more time when u couldn't. believe me you will find someone and that person will stand by u no matter what. #19 7 years ago
Thank you all so much 😊 you don't know how much I appreciate this #20 7 years ago
But, can I ask one more question? Do you think...honestly...she will try to come back. Im just wondering. #21 7 years ago
yes I do. i know coworker who dealt with a gf who had major insecurities issues. he couldn't deal with that and broke up with her. she played games like inviting him over, he saw a condom on the floor and the guy was in the next room. she said that she loves him but does that. he eventually cut off contact. i believe a year later out of the blue she called. apologize for all the stuff she did. she knew he treated her good. she wanted him back but he moved on. #22 7 years ago
Im glad, thank you 😊 I was good and I'm going for an associate's degree in Criminal Justice. I want to be a state trooper #23 7 years ago
so u will have a stable job. making good income an ready to settle down when u meet the right woman. u almost have a year left of school then u will be coming home. if ur done with school and this other guy isn't, she may not want to be with a guy still in college. u said that he is so similar to u that leaving him won't be difficult to do when she decides she wants u back. think about this, what if the only way to keep her was to give up ur school. would u have done that? #24 7 years ago
Exactly, I would never do that. I thought she was understanding. I really can't wait for that day, because im gonna slap it back in her face #25 7 years ago
obviously she didn't see the bigger picture. she only care that u keep devoting all ur time to her. i'm sure being a state trooper will be demanding as well so what if she can't deal will that. she could easily dump u again if u choose to take her back. #26 7 years ago
Is it odd if, right now, I can't picture myself dating or dating anyone new. Only her. #27 7 years ago
You are so right, I can't trust her. Its crazy hours and a very dangerous job.that I worry about. But, parallel to what you said, I've always felt that she was not completely done with me. #28 7 years ago
I think the hardest things to deal with are my own thoughts. Like today that are together and my thoughts go to like "what are they doing right now" and I get so sad and than I think about our memories and get worse because I realize she is treating him like she treated me. I have that mindset like "but she was my girl...' #29 7 years ago
Hudson wrote: I think the hardest things to deal with are my own thoughts. Like today that are together and my thoughts go to like "what are they doing right now" and I get so sad and than I think about our memories and get worse because I realize she is treating him like she treated me. I have that mindset like "but she was my girl...' This may seem harsh, but wake the **** up, man! She sounds like an absolute psychopath! We know she's A) a cheater D) not worth it I think you're still living on the good memories of how she used to be and not this weird, bipolar loon she actually is now. You need to drop that mentality of "she's my girl" because nobody who treats you like that has the right to be called yours. That's an honor and a privilege, not something anybody can garner. She's having dreams because she's guilty and knows she royally messed up, but she honestly deserves it. I say you let her rot in her misery and maybe slap some charges on HER when you become that state trooper. What she did is unfair and downright insane. I suggest this thread in starting your healing process, it's a gold mine. #30 7 years ago
Its okay, I feel like I need a little slap of reality. Everything that glitters is not gold. I will keep that thread. I'm starting new tomorrow. 😊 |
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