This article is more than 5 years old. I am feeling so lonely. Can I die from it? originally appeared on Quora: the knowledge sharing network where compelling questions are answered by people with unique insights. Answer by Brad Porter on Quora: I am feeling so lonely. Can I die from it? Yes. This is actually a very important issue, and not just a psychological issue, but a medical one. In the last decade alone, physicians and researchers have begun looking deeply into the impact of loneliness and social isolation on health, well being, and mortality, and the data on the subject is overwhelming: a lonely person is significantly more likely to suffer an early death than a non-lonely one. Most of this research is centered around geriatrics, as you might guess, where feelings of loneliness are powerfully predictive of mortality. A few years ago researchers at Brigham Young University conducted an influential meta-analysis of scientific literature on the subject, and found that social isolation increases your risk of death by an astounding ~30%, and some estimates have it as high as 60%! Just to quote the abstract from that paper:
—Loneliness and Social Isolation as Risk Factors for Mortality To put it another way, loneliness might be a more significant health factor than obesity, smoking, exercise or nutrition. Why Loneliness May Be the Next Big Public-Health Issue And, interestingly, this is true whether the person feels lonely or not. There are a few different factors to think about:
So yes, in a very, very real sense: loneliness can kill you. In my own personal experience, I have found that the lonelier I am, the worse I am doing. And I say that as a guy who, in general, much prefers isolation. I am just a person who is more comfortable and often more content being by myself. I value solitude, and on the flip side, can often get agitated or uncomfortable or even just feel more scattered in social settings. In many respects, this is not really something that bothers me—it’s just a part of who I am. But, at various points in my life, I have noticed that I might begin drifting from “comfortable being alone” to “uncomfortable not being alone”, and from there I start slipping into something less like “loner” and more like “isolated.” The worst periods of my life tend to be at those times. That’s when I seem most likely to fall into depression or anxiety, or substance abuse, or just generally feeling crappy and not taking care of myself. It’s a little chicken and the egg – do I start isolating because I feel bad or do I start feeling bad because I’m isolating? – but I have noticed that most often, it’s the loneliness that comes first. It’s like a change in the barometric pressure that you can almost feel as you step outside, and you know a storm is coming. When that happens, it goes one of two ways – either I let myself slip down into the darkness, or I start talking. As seductive or even just “path of least resistance” that slide into darkness can be, the older I get, the more I have learned that I much, prefer the outcome when I start talking instead. This question originally appeared on Quora. Ask a question, get a great answer. Learn from experts and access insider knowledge. You can follow Quora on Twitter, Facebook, and Google+. More questions: |