What does it mean when my dog stares at me

If you have a dog, you probably spend a lot of time trying to figure out dog behavior and looking up the answers to questions like “Why does my dog follow me?” (if you’re on your way to the kitchen it’s pretty obvious!), “Can my dog see color?” or “Why does my dog stare at me?” Like us, dogs are complex creatures, and it can be hard to know what your dog’s facial expressions really mean.

When you’re asking them to sit or giving them a treat, eye contact means that their attention is on you and that they’re ready to (hopefully) listen. But sometimes your pup will look at you without being prompted, or give you the doggy side-eye when you’re not even doing anything interesting, just watching TV. Unless you’re doing one of these things that your dog actually hates, there are a few reasons why your dog might stare at you—even when you don’t call his name or do something to get his attention.

Why does my dog stare at me?

In general, dogs use eye contact to gain information and understand what their human wants them to do, says Philip Tedeschi, professor and researcher on the human-animal bond with Rover. “Dogs use eye contact as reassurance and understanding in very similar ways that humans do, to ascertain interpersonal connection and reaction. This helps us connect with them as well,” he says.

In especially good news for pooch parents, science confirms that dogs use eye contact to express affection. How do you tell if a dog loves you? Well, if he stares at you, it’s a good sign! “Just like humans gaze into each other’s eyes to show love and affection, so does your dog,” says Tedeschi. “In fact, one study showed that the ‘cuddle’ hormone oxytocin increases in both humans and dogs when they exchange a loving gaze.”

However, Tedeschi points out that if the eye contact between a dog and a human is too long or too intense it might lead to discomfort in the dog—similar to the way two humans staring at each other for a prolonged period of time would make them uncomfortable. So what do you do if your dog stares at you? Look back, but not for too long. Dogs get awkward, too!

Do dogs use eye contact to try to communicate with humans?

Eye contact is actually not a natural instinct for dogs, but over time they learn that eye contact can often lead to attention or food from their humans. So, if you see your dog looking to the side, or notice he’s staring at you in a classic, cute, looking-up puppy eyes kind of way, it probably means he wants something.

“Dogs will often stare when you’re doing something that piques their curiosity—like grilling up something that smells tasty or opening the cupboard where the treats are—to see if they can get in on the fun too,” says Tedeschi. So, next time you catch your hound staring, try giving him a cuddle. If you’re curious, here’s why dogs sometimes tilt their heads when looking at you.

If your dog sees another dog while you’re out for a walk, he might look at the other dog briefly to catch the dog’s attention, but when two dogs stare at each other it’s actually a sign of hostility.

“You’ll more frequently see dogs turning away from each other in order to avoid eye contact as sustained staring can be a sign of aggression,” says Tedeschi. “Prolonged eye contact rarely occurs in friendly exchanges between two dogs.” When two dogs meet for the first time, always approach with caution and never just let your dog run up to an unknown dog. You don’t know how other canines will react. That’s just one of the mistakes dog owners should never make.

Why does my dog stare at me when he goes to the bathroom?

“When dogs are defecating, they feel like they are vulnerable, so he’s looking to you to protect him and for safety cues as he goes,” says Tedeschi. Most dogs also learn that if they go to the bathroom outside when and where they’re supposed to, they will be rewarded with a treat, so they stare at you to make sure you know that they are doing their business. Yes, it’s a bit awkward, but you can reassure your dog by saying something soothing instead.

So now you know: your dog stares at you because he wants to express affection, make sure he’s safe, or check on his chances of getting food or snuggles. Think you’re a dog expert? Test yourself to see how much you know in our definitive guide to what dogs want.

Source: 

• Philip Tedeschi, Professor and researcher on the human-animal bond with Rover.com

Originally Published: March 15, 2022

You’re sitting watching TV — but your dog only has eyes for you. You’re cooking dinner, and the pooch is laser-focused on your face. You head to the bathroom and… you get the idea. If there’s one thing almost all dogs do well, it’s stare at their owners. And stare. And stare.

But why do they do it? There are four main reasons: attention, confusion, desire, and direction.

Attention
Your dog wants you to notice her. This one is often tied into desire because she wants you to do something for her, but it’s not necessarily as specific as “rub my belly” or “throw me the ball.” When your dog wants attention, those things are fine, but she’ll probably be just as happy with any kind of love and affection from you — after she’s had exercise and discipline, of course.

Confusion
Do you ever talk to yourself while engaging in a task and find that your pup is watching you closely, seemingly following every word? Another reason that dogs stare at us is because they are trying to figure out what we want from them. They don’t want to miss a possible cue or get yelled at for doing something wrong. Plus, sometimes they’re just curious about what the heck we’re doing!

Desire
I mentioned desire earlier when talking about attention, but it goes a lot deeper than the examples I cited. In fact, this is the type of staring dog owners tend to notice most often, because it covers a variety of “wants” from their pups — everything from “feed me, I’m hungry” to “toss the ball” to “I need to go for a walk” to, yes, “rub my belly.” Staring while engaging in a specific action, such as holding his leash in his mouth, is your dog’s way of saying: “This is what I want. I will make you give it to me by controlling you with my eyes.” Okay, technically, that’s not exactly what they’re saying, but you get the idea.

Direction
The final reason that dogs stare is they want you to tell them what to do. In some ways, this is related to confusion, but it’s not as straightforward as them making a general attempt to figure out what’s going on. When a dog stares for direction, it’s often because they are in the midst of training or some other kind of specific activity and want to know what to do next.

There is one more stare that it is vital to understand. Some dogs possess an aggressive stare that essentially says, “Don’t mess with me” or “I’m going to take you out.” Before assuming that a dog’s stare is friendly, make sure you pay attention to the rest of their body language, or you could put yourself in harm’s way.

So the next time you notice your dog burning a hole through you with her eyes, don’t assume that she’s just expressing her undying devotion. If you pay attention to the context clues, you may discover that she’s trying to communicate something much more specific.

If your dog stares at you all the time, sometimes for what seems like hours, often without blinking, you might wonder if they are looking at you with love and affection, or whether they are just trying to get your attention to communicate that they want something. Some owners might find it cute, while others find it a little creepy, but the looks your dog gives you definitely have meaning.

There may be a number of different reasons why your dog stares at you, but it’s usually because they want to know something or are trying to tell you something. Understanding what that special 'something' could be is the key to knowing why your dog is staring at you, but it’s most likely for one of the following reasons:

• They want to know what you’re doing or what you’re going to do next
• They’re confused about what you’re up to or what you want from them
• They want something from you, such as food, affection, to go for a walk or to go to the toilet
• They love you!

Your dog is reading you like a book

Dogs are very good at understanding us. Your dog watches your body language and looks at your facial expressions to help them recognise what you’re thinking and feeling. They rely on you for everything i.e. food, water, cuddles, exercise and even when and where to go to the toilet etc. Understanding your behaviour helps them work out what’s going on and what’s going to happen next. Dogs are excellent at remembering our daily habits, but will often stare at us to try to piece together our actions, so if you go to the front door, are you going to collect the post, leave the house or take them for a walk?

As well as watching you carefully, they most likely use their other senses to gain extra information. They listen to the tone of your voice and they may even use their incredible sense of smell and taste to work out how you’re feeling by licking your face and hands.

They’re confused

Your dog may often appear to be a fantastic mind reader, but since they don’t speak our language it must be very difficult for them to always understand what’s going on. Sometimes your dog may be staring at you because they simply don’t have a clue what’s happening or what they’re expected to do. By looking at you closely it helps them collect information to understand more about their situation. If you’ve asked your dog to do something and they just stare at you, it might not be that they’re being stubborn, but they may just need another hint from you to help them know what to do.

Your dog is trying to tell you something

If your dog stares at you then they may be trying to get your attention or 'tell' you something that’s important to them, but what is the question!? Dogs have very expressive eyes that are great at persuading you to help them. How can you possibly resist them? You may not realise it, but your dog has learnt that if they look at you in a certain way then you’re more likely to give them what they want. That could be a treat, a stroke, a cuddle, a toy, or they get taken out for a walk or to use the toilet. Although being stared at may make you feel uncomfortable, it is a much better behaviour than barking, chewing or biting for attention. If you’re often baffled by what your dog wants, you could help by training them to do specific activities when they want specific things, like fetching their leash if they want a walk, or going to their bowl if they want food. However, if they continue to seek your attention, it could suggest that their needs aren't being met. In these situations you could try speaking to a behaviourist or a KCAI instructor to help you get the right balance.

They love you!

Dogs sometimes use eye contact to let you know how they feel, and a lot of the time it’s to say that they love you. A dog’s loving gaze has been found to release a 'feel-good hormone' known as oxytocin in both you and your dog. This hormone helps you both feel happy and relaxed and helps you develop and maintain that close emotional bond that makes your relationship so special. So when you look at your dog lovingly and they look back into your eyes, it’s likely that they’re letting you know that the feeling is mutual. Dogs tend to use this look when they are feeling relaxed, so it’s important to never force your dog to stare you in the eye, as it’s unlikely that they’ll interpret this in a positive way.

They want food

If, like many other dogs, yours is obsessed with food, then they may be staring at you because they want a piece of whatever food you’re eating. Giving your dog some of your food when they show you their 'sad eyes' face is a difficult habit to break, but if you find this irresistible, you could train your dog to settle close to you while you eat, and maybe chew on a bone or play with a food puzzle, or keep them in a separate room while you eat.

They’d like some more attention

Sometimes, despite being showered with affection all day, your dog may still want some attention from you. They may not want anything in particular, but a quick stroke or belly rub may go a long way to making them feel reassured and loved. If this becomes a regular issue, then your dog may be bored or not getting enough exercise. You could try finding ways to keep them stimulated, or try giving them more exercise. Mental stimulation is just as important as physical stimulation and an interactive game can tire your dog more than a boring walk around the block.

They want your protection when pooing

If your dog stares at you while they're going to the toilet it could be because they feel vulnerable and are looking to you for reassurance and protection. While they are pooing, dogs are relatively defenceless and not in a position to fight or run away from any threats. If your dog stares at you while they poo, take it as a compliment that they are looking to you as their trusted protector to keep an eye out for danger. It’s useful to calmly talk to them to show them all is okay. Also, you could add a cue word, such as “toilet” so the dog can come to associate this with a safe place to 'go'.

Direction during training

If you’re training your dog and they are staring at you, it may be that they’re waiting for their next clue as to what to do. A well-trained dog is eager to be told what their next activity should be and staring is their way of asking what they’re supposed to be doing. If your dog is watching you closely then it means that they're focused on you rather than what’s around them. This is a sign of a strong bond between you. Training your dog to watch you can have a positive effect on your relationship and is a very useful skill to help with your dog’s attention in training or when you are in a difficult situation. Dogs that are attentive may be easier to train, so why not put it to good use. This could be especially useful if you are thinking of taking part in any canine activities, such as rally, agility or obedience.

Cognitive dysfunction

Sometimes, particularly in older dogs, a dog that is regularly staring at their owner, or is staring into space, could be a sign of a form of dementia. If they seem confused, keep having accidents inside the house, are showing signs of memory loss or have changes in their behaviour, activity or feeding and sleeping patterns, then you should speak to your vet for advice.

Aggressiveness

As well as expressing love, a dog’s stare can sometimes indicate that they are not happy. It’s unlikely that your dog will give you this sort of assertive stare, but it may be reserved for other dogs that they feel threatened by. It’s usually accompanied by a stiff upright body and a stillness. If a dog gives you an aggressive look that you feel threatened by, it’s important that you do not stare back at them and that you give them plenty of space and keep your distance. If your dog exhibits this sort of behaviour towards you, or has displayed this behaviour towards other dogs, then you should consider talking to a behaviourist.

Should I be worried that my dog stares at me?

Most of the time a dog’s stare has meaning, but understanding that meaning can sometimes be challenging. Often this stare is nothing to be concerned about and is perfectly normal behaviour for a dog that’s trying to communicate with you. However, you know your dog best, so if you have any concerns about your dog or their behaviour then always ensure your speak to your local vet or dog behaviourist, such as a KCAI instructor.

Find out more

Find answers to some of the other most commonly asked questions on our 'why does my dog?' hub, such as:

• Why does my dog eat grass?
• Why does my dog eat poop?
• Why does my dog shake?
• Why does my dog follow me everywhere?
• Why does my dog lick me so much?
• Why does my dog lick my feet?
• Why does my dog sneeze so much?
• Why does my dog smell of fish?

If you're worried about your dog's health, always contact your vet immediately!

We are not a veterinary organisation and so we can't give veterinary advice, but if you're worried about any of the issues raised in this article, please contact your local vet practice for further information

If you're looking for a vet practice near you, why not visit the Royal College of Veterinary Surgeons' Find a vet page.